Things Have Changed
gold and green
the best color combination
is what my mother says
there’s nothing more gorgeous
than a green sari
with gold bangles
or emerald green earrings
and divine gold eyes
but unpretty like myself,
shy like silver
coughing out ruby red laughs
when a classmate put their hand
to mine to compare our skin
touching wrist to wrist
black pants
gray dress shirts
sapphire wannabe studs
shaded eyes
overcompensating.
still bracelets
sterling necklaces
translucent buttons
metal rings
gray-framed glasses
reflective
deflecting
silver eyeshadow
silver platforms
silver silver mind
silver this
silver that
silver girl
silver girl
maybe
silver and gray
is for young desi children
who weren’t pretty enough
underneath the american sun
in my mind
ugly gujju girls
with olive skin
and scarred thighs
could never be gold
until the wedding bells ring
aku, bhouth achha hai,
you look pretty in green
another wedding
and a soft stomach on display
birthmarks leaving brown spots
arey, ye kya hai, your figure
resembles a dancer
flashbacks are dizzying
age seven, bollywood dance class
in the center of mumbai
wearing nylon leopard print
faded gold
something will change.
silver studs in the helix
silver nose stud
tears when the needle
pushes through
her jhumkas carries memories
they’re too heavy for you
but things are changing.
silver shirt
white jeans
gold shoes
black dress
doc martens
scarred thighs
my mother’s eyes
but i also want to glow
like gold
compensating.
gold hoops
gold pendant
a golden ganesh
a prayer.
if i was created
from malleable brown clay
my skin will be fired
and painted bright gold
emerald green prom dress
that falls halfway down the thigh
unblemished gold bangles
that make music
sequenced golden sandals
to dance across the floor.
perfume is pungent
and the jhumkis are fake
but the gold is real.
and it smells like pretty
and it smells like growth
things have changed.
silver green silver green
gold gold gold
Akshata Srinivas